My Work with Men

As a man, it's not something you ever thought about doing, did you? But if you've come this far, you might recognize a few reasons in the list below that have led you to consider therapy for yourself, or as part of a relationship:

• You are in some form of distress and you have spent a lot of time thinking about how to fix the problem.
• You have already tried your best to do everything you think is in your power to change the situation, but it hasn't worked the way you had hoped.
• You are at a crisis point that is disrupting your daily existence, or think there is a life-altering circumstance looming on the horizon.
• You are a good man who just wants to have a fair shot at life and wants to be acknowledged and appreciated by the people who matter most to you.
• You would like answers as quickly as possible, but you don't want a therapist to criticize you or attempt to dictate your behavior.
• You will work hard in the process if you think the therapist provides an environment that is mutually honest, respectful and trustworthy. 

Sound familiar? Then you may be ready to take the next step. But, before you decide, you should know that these are the basic principles that define my work with men:

• Men and women are different.  It's a fact of nature. Yet, these days, many men feel pressured to behave in ways that don’t look or feel “manly.” I believe therapy should be grounded in the biological, psychological and social truths that shape your perceptions and behaviors as a man. Rather than deny these influences, accepting them is the first step in creating more realistic expectations in pursuing your life goals.
• Men and women must learn about and appreciate these differences as a fundamental part of a healthy relationship. In couples therapy, I acknowledge that gender may affect how men and women reflexively see and respond in certain situations. With this basic understanding, couples can learn how to override these habits of nature when it benefits their relationship. Because it’s not about changing your partner’s mind, it’s about making mindful changes. And that choice doesn’t depend on your gender.
• Valuing your strength and integrity is the cornerstone of effective therapy with men. As a therapist, it's not my aim to try to “fix you,” or “feminize” you out of your real manhood. My job is to help you identify your best self so you can effectively use these resources to get the results you are seeking.
• Effective tools, making strategic plans and having clear metrics are the staples of how men evaluate progress and success in therapy. But the exact nature of these elements will depend on your own specific needs and goals. It's a custom job, not a one-size-fits-all approach. 
• We must be team players in this venture. You bring your willingness to be open to new ways of looking at yourself and your world, and I will bring my knowledge, skills and experience to work hard with you in your best interests.
• You are the decision-maker in the process. While it's my job to help you move to where you want to go, ultimately you will be responsible for the choices you make and their outcomes. But know this up front---I believe the more you understand about yourself as a man, the better you will be able to navigate your life and make smarter decisions. Therapy is a great way to acquire that knowledge and experience.

Why is all of this important? Because I don't want you to spend your time, money or effort in a situation that won't suit your needs. As a consumer, I think you deserve a heads-up so you can make a well-informed choice about picking a therapist.

You might say it's part of my cut-to-the-chase approach the men I work with seem to appreciate.

I know I've done the job I've set out to do when they say, "MAN, SHE GETS IT." ^®